Friday.

In my classroom above my desk I have the saying "Remember each one of them is Jesus in disguise" by Mother Teresa. That quote has always meant something to me, but I don't know if I really ever believed it. Then Friday happened. As I sat in the teacher's lounge at the elementary school I work for, my heart sank. As I watched the news coverage this weekend on it and I watched the faces of those children and those brave teachers and adults at that school, my heart sank even more.

I had a million thoughts running through my head. What would I do? How fast could I act? The biggest  question I asked myself though was, would I be willing to do it. That hit me smack in the face like a ton of bricks. I love my kids, I love my coworkers, I love my work, but would I die for them? The more I thought about it, the more tears came to my eyes. The selfish side of you wants to say you would protect yourself for your family, your children, your husband. Then the part of you, that's deep down in your soul, the part of you that made you want to be a teacher speaks up. I would. I would do whatever it took to protect those precious 18 children in my room. I would hope that I would be something like the teacher who told her students she loved them over and over, and held their faces tight as they were scared and cried. I would hope that I would be something like Ms. Soto, who shielded her students and took the bullets as they ran out of the room. I hope I would be something like the principal, assistant principal, and psychologist who ran into the line of fire. I want to make that my new prayer. To be a teacher that protects my students no matter what the cost.

Back to my saying above my desk. There has been so much talk about "why" this happened, and that if we had God in schools this wouldn't be taking place. To those of you who feel that way, I encourage you to read and reread that quote. Those tiny faces are reflections of Jesus. He is in us, around us, he works through us and for us. If you think we have taken God out of school, I am sad you have missed the blessing of seeing him everyday in those little lives. As for me, I am praying for everyone affected by this tragedy, for the school to somehow move forward, and for teachers across America to hug your students a little tighter. I pray that the Lord shows up with me everyday, because if I want him in my school and in my classroom, I better be willing to bring him with me. Amen.

Kate